Welcome to the house of sex, intimacy, death, & rebirth
I’ve been wanting to write about this for a few months now, but it’s felt like such a burden to process it all, but I’m committing to it. I have to continue my spiritual work and focus on healing.
I had mentioned before, briefly, that I had gone to see a psychic to have my astrology chart read… well, I’m finally going to start dissecting it with you here, but I’m going to break it up into sections.
Today, I want to talk about my Sun sign.
I am a Gemini, as you all know from my introduction.
Gemini is a mutable sign, which means that we are super flexible and easy to sway. We are considered the tofu of the zodiac because we can absorb the flavor or any environment and make it our natural habitat. We are chameleons.
The motto of Gemini is I communicate. Interesting, eh? We have the power of the gift of gab and usually end up in career paths involving teaching, speaking, communications, photography, journalism, matchmaking, and coding. But, we become fascinated with something, obsessed even, for like 2 minutes, then we move on; which leads to a lot being left undone.
We love wit, banter, and clever humor and we are very intelligent. The problem with this is that when a Gemini gets bored, we default to mind games and meanness for our own entertainment. Gemini, as an air sign, is “removed” and doesn’t understand the heart of people.
My Gemini just happens to be in the 8th house – exactly where we shine the brightest! Now, the 8th house belongs to Scorpio and is the house of sex, intimacy, death and rebirth, transformation through crisis, secrets, the taboo, depth psychology, and all things witchy! The fascinating contrast here is that Gemini come across very…surface. We act like we aren’t paying attention and we’re aloof, but because of this 8th house I’ve got going on, I’m paying VERY close attention. To everything. Another conundrum I face because of my Gemini in the 8th house is that I present as wanting all my relationships and interactions to be casual and surface-y, but what I REALLY want is a deep, soulful connection – I false advertise my own self!
The 8th house is also about power struggles and mind games; provides a sort of x-ray vision into people. I’m really good at getting deep, intimate information from others, but I only give surface because it’s safe. Miss Renee gave the example of sitting at a bar… a stranger sits next to me and a few minutes after introducing and making small-talk, this stranger has told me their life story and their hopes and dreams, we shake hands and part ways and suddenly the stranger realizes that they confided all this private information and all they got from me was my first name and that I have cats! I have a need to play power games as a safety defense because if I always have the upper hand and am never the vulnerable one, then I will never get hurt.
Miss Renee paused after giving this example and said that something that happened to me in my childhood taught me that to stay safe, I needed to tell jokes and keep things light – to always be reading people but never say too much. The events during my childhood that taught me to utilize these skills started by me being bullied about my weight in elementary school and continued with being molested by my cousin and, later, my dad’s father. I knew how to read people and how to always be paying attention to my surroundings, but to pretend like I didn’t notice anything because that would give me a leg up. Never show your hand.
The sign of the twins symbolizes the ability (and talent?) of Gemini to split and hide things away “in the other room” – dissociate or compartmentalize. The problem with this type of behavior is that the “other room” will eventually fill up and that door won’t be able to shut all the way and it will come flying open and alllllll that shit will come spilling out. I suppose it’s an extra good thing that I started blogging and using this platform to release my other-room shit. It’s all part of healing my wounds.
Gemini in the 8th house is the deepest marker of a healer. Miss Renee said that she would love to see me become a therapist. My calling is to use communication to help others:
“I’m going to help you through words”
“I’m going to help you find your words”
“I’m going to help those who have no voice”
I think that I felt the pull to this kind of work because part of my intention for this blog was to help people – I wanted to be vulnerable and honest in the hope that someone who was struggling might read it and find comfort or reach out.
The most exciting thing that Miss Renee had to say – and now, not only was I excited, but SHE could hardly contain her excitement!! – was that I am going to — AM GOING TO — find an intense, soulful love in this life. She literally said “I’m talkin that Note-fuckin-book kinda love gurrrrl” and I cannot get that vision out of my mind! I haven’t even seen the movie yet…and of course it isn’t on any of my streaming apps right now…but I know that it’s a passionate, reciprocated, we-can-conquer-the-world-together kind of love that I’ve always wanted and never been able to attain. I can have that! I will have that!! She said that as I become conscious of my wounds and work on healing them, I will attract the deepest, most soulful love.
Part of my healing is learning to stop being afraid of my depth, and I’m trying to work on that here.
Today, I’m grateful for being able to self-reflect.