Okay, now back to me…
So it’s been almost one week since my grandma’s funeral, which signified the end of my drama. My drama-fest has lasted about 2 months and I’m sooooo over it. I made it through three major events, and I know that bad things come in threes, so I’m quite certain that I’m good for a while.
In my two months of upheaval, I managed to continue working out at least weekly, but my food intake has been so unregulated! Every week, I make a menu with a breakdown of my macros and calories, I take into consideration my sodium and fiber intake, and I make a shopping list to go with the menu. For the past two months, I’ve failed to follow these menus… I mean, about 50% of the time I don’t even get the groceries and the other half of the time I get them and either make the food and let it sit in my fridge until it’s furry, or I don’t make the food and it sits in my fridge and gets furry! I just haven’t been interested in managing my diet.
This is the first week, since my string of events started, that I’ve felt the motivation – and had the means – to focus on my workouts AND diet. I created a menu – like I doooooo – and I’ve budgeted time this weekend to shop and cook. My life is back to normal now and I’ve willed it to stay normal for several months!
I know that I’m a very routine-driven person. I have learned this about myself over the past several years, and as soon as one piece of my daily routine is messed with, the rest of my day falls to shit. I do realize that this is my own fault; my own problem. HOWEVER, because I know this about myself, I can plan for it! But I don’t… I haven’t quite figured that part out, but now my normal, predictable, routine is back on track and I can get back to me!
My menu is done!
My shopping list is done!
My workouts are scheduled!
My me-time is scheduled!
I’m going to be okay; I’m going to be healthy.
……side note: I weighed myself yesterday and I’ve gained 5 pounds in a week. I know all the reasons why this happened and I can mentally account for each ounce of that 5 pounds. I’m not angry about it or disappointed in myself. You know why? It’s because I know that I’ve been out of sorts and extra stressed and my proverbial cup was bone-dry. I was doing my very best, and my best is enough.
Today I am grateful for my emotional growth and ability to self-love.